What Are You Making Room For?

blue and white sofa set — Photo by Kate Darmody on Unsplash

Creating space is not just about what you remove. It is about what you are making room for.

I am unexpectedly having company next week.

And before you assume that someone who coaches women on creating space lives in a house that is always ready for guests, always tidy, always in order, let me stop you right there. I do not. I live a real life.

So, I did what most of us do when company is coming. I walked through my home with new eyes. Not the eyes I use every day, the ones that have stopped seeing the things on the kitchen counter because they have been there so long they have become part of the backdrop. These were different eyes. The eyes of someone seeing the space for the first time, noticing what a guest might notice, feeling what they might feel when they walk in.

I started moving through the house with intention. I put things away that had gotten used to being out. You know how it goes. Something lands on a counter or a desk and you look at it every day until one day you stop seeing it entirely. It just becomes part of the scenery. I changed the sheets and made the beds. I tended to my way-too-many plants, watered them, cleaned up the dead leaves, and moved them into fresh arrangements. I changed the hand towels in the bathrooms. I made little baskets for the guest bedrooms with things they might want or need during their visit. I put water bottles by their beds.

At some point in the middle of all of this, I stopped and noticed something. I was not decluttering. I was not filling a donation bag or purging a closet. I was creating space. Intentional space. I was making room for people I cared about, and I wanted them to feel it when they walked in.

And then I sat down in my sunroom, the one I had just tidied, and I looked around. My plants looked happy. The room felt welcoming, cozy, and clean. I am sitting in my sunroom writing this today for you, and I realize how much nicer it feels in here. Not because I got rid of things. Because I created something with a purpose in mind. I made this space for my guests, and as it turns out, for myself.

That is the thing I want you to notice. My focus was never on removing things. It was not about what could go to the donation box. It was about creating a space for people I care about. And the difference between those two things is more significant than it sounds.

What are we actually making space for?

Are we getting rid of things just for the sake of getting rid of things, so we can feel better about having done so? Let’s be honest. Sometimes that is exactly what we are doing.

When I work with people, I do not start with what they are getting rid of. I am not that interested in that, honestly. I am interested in what they want to keep and why. I am interested in what is going on in their life that is keeping them feeling stuck. The stuff is rarely the real story.

And here is what I also want you to know. This does not stop at your front door. The same question applies to your calendar, the commitments you have said yes to, the relationships you invest in, the mental and emotional energy you spend each week. When we clear our schedule without asking what we are making room for, we just fill it back up again. When we remove a commitment without knowing what we want in its place, something else moves in. Every space in your life, not just the physical ones, can be tended with the same intention.

Whether you’re becoming an empty nester, entering retirement, grieving a loss, changing careers, or simply wondering what comes next, the question is the same: What do you want to make room for now?

When we create space with a purpose, with someone or something in mind, we move through it differently. We notice different things. We make different choices. And when we are done, the space gives something back. Just like with my company coming, I was focused on them and creating something to make them feel welcome, and the space gave me back my own welcome.

So I want to ask you what I asked myself while standing in my sunroom today, surrounded by happy plants, fresh towels, and little baskets of things I had chosen with care.

When you look at your home, your calendar, your days, through the eyes of someone creating space on purpose, what do you see?

When you look at your home, your calendar, your relationships, and your life through the eyes of someone creating space with intention, what do you see?