I have had one of the happiest and most meaningful summers I can remember. I traveled. I spent time with friends and family. I finished writing my book, worked through the edits, and began choosing the cover. These were moments I had looked forward to for a long time.
And yet, almost every morning, the first feeling I noticed was overwhelm.
I would put my feet on the floor, feel grateful to be alive and to have another day, and almost immediately wonder, How am I going to make all of this happen?
That question surprised me because so many of the things filling my days were good things. Nothing had gone terribly wrong. Life was full of people I loved, opportunities I wanted, and work that mattered deeply to me. Still, I felt as though I could never quite catch up.
I think many of us assume overwhelm belongs to the hardest seasons of life. We expect it during illness, loss, financial stress, caregiving, or crisis. Those experiences can certainly overwhelm us. Overwhelm can also show up right in the middle of the life we hoped for.
The holidays are a good example. We look forward to family, friends, traditions, meals, gatherings, and celebrations. We may genuinely enjoy every one of those things. At the same time, preparing for all of them can leave us so depleted that we struggle to be present when the moment finally arrives.
The same thing can happen during retirement, a move, downsizing, travel, a new opportunity, or the completion of a long-held goal. These changes may be welcome. They still require time, energy, decisions, and emotional adjustment. Even good change takes up space.
That was the realization I kept coming back to this summer. I was grateful, and I was overwhelmed. Both were true.
The overwhelm was getting between me and my ability to enjoy what was happening. It pulled my attention toward everything that still needed to be done. It made it harder to stay present with the people and experiences I was so grateful to have.
It felt like having a program running in the background of my computer. Even while I was focused on something else, part of my energy was still being used. Everything moved a little more slowly.
Overwhelm can do that. It stands between us and the life that is happening right now. It keeps part of our mind on the next task, the unfinished list, or the responsibility waiting in the background. We may be physically present while our attention is already somewhere else.
That is why I have come to see overwhelm as feedback. It is a personal message that something needs our attention. Somewhere, the life we are trying to live has become too crowded to fit comfortably.
Yet many women interpret overwhelm as evidence that they have failed at managing their lives. I hear that often. The message may be much simpler: the life they are trying to manage needs more space and support than they have allowed for it.
When I look honestly at what overwhelm is pointing to, it usually comes down to a few things. Sometimes there really are not enough hours for everything I have asked of myself. Sometimes an experience requires more emotional energy than I expected. Sometimes I have said yes to more than I can reasonably handle. And sometimes I am moving through a real transition without admitting how much adjustment it is asking of me.
In my case, I was enjoying time with my family and doing something I had dreamed about for years. I had finished writing a book. Yet I was still viewing becoming an author as another task to complete. I had made room for the work involved, but I had not made enough room for the personal transition.
Maybe you are downsizing and moving into a home that better suits the life you want now. It may be a welcome change, and it still asks you to make decisions, let go, adjust, and imagine yourself living differently. Retirement, a new relationship, a long-awaited trip, or an exciting opportunity can ask the same of us. The details will be different, but the first step is often the same. We become curious enough to listen.
When I stopped criticizing myself for feeling overwhelmed, I could begin asking better questions. What was taking more energy than I expected? What needed to wait? Where had I left no room for recovery, reflection, or simple enjoyment? What was I trying to fit into a season that was already overflowing?
Those questions did not make every responsibility disappear. They helped me see my experience more honestly. They also reminded me that creating space reaches beyond clearing a room or opening a calendar. It gives us enough room to live the life that is already here.
A Question to Consider This Week
Instead of asking yourself how you are going to get everything done, pause long enough to ask:
What is my overwhelm trying to tell me?
Maybe your calendar needs more room. Maybe a change you are genuinely excited about is asking more of you than you expected, physically, mentally, or emotionally. Maybe you need time to adjust before adding one more thing.
Overwhelm is not always a sign that life is falling apart. Sometimes life is simply overflowing. Even then, it is asking us to pay attention to what we are trying to manage and whether we have made enough space for it.
Creating space allows us to be present for the people, experiences, and opportunities we truly value. It helps us enjoy what we have worked so hard to create.
After all, even the most beautiful seasons in life need space to be enjoyed.
I’ll talk to you next Monday,
Meryl
