Monday with Meryl | A weekly reflection on clarity, space, and life transitions.
When I started working out, I would book my sessions one month in advance.
But life kept getting in the way. Something needed to be fixed at the house, and the only time someone could come was in the morning. Or some other emergency would come up that needed my attention. So, I’d move my workout.
And to be honest, I felt like I was doing a pretty good job of managing things. I was getting things done, taking care of what needed to happen, and making space for things I thought were important.
I found myself doing the same thing with church. I go to church every Sunday, or at least that’s my intention. It’s something I thoroughly enjoy, and it’s on my calendar every week. But sometimes, if I’m tired or have things I think I need to get done, it becomes negotiable.
When I got to the end of each month and looked back at my calendar, I realized I hadn’t done the things I told myself I was going to do.
The things I’d put on my calendar. And I felt bad about it. I felt guilty, almost ashamed, that I hadn’t kept those commitments.
Those feelings started to compound as the month went on. If I missed a workout, I’d feel bad when I went the next time and saw that everyone else had been there.
In my mind, I’d be thinking, How come they can show up, but I can’t?
And eventually, I started to realize something. They were doing what they said they were going to do. Their workouts were important to them, so they showed up. They were non-negotiable. They just did what was on the calendar.
My workouts were important to me, too. But I kept moving them around to make room for other people and other things.
Why were other people’s commitments non-negotiable, but mine weren’t?
That was the question I really needed to ask myself even if I might not like the answer.
It Didn’t Change Overnight
I wish I could tell you that I had that realization one day and everything changed. It didn’t.
It took months of doing the same thing before I really understood what was happening and started making changes.
And yes, I’m a coach who still needs to be coached. I still have lessons to learn, just like everyone else. What I started doing was paying attention to the times I kept my commitments.
When I showed up for a workout, I took a moment to recognize that I’d done something I said I was going to do. I noticed how I felt afterward. Not just physically, but how I felt about myself.
There was a sense of accomplishment, even if it was something small. Those feelings started to add up.
The more often I showed up, the more I began to believe that I was someone who would do what I said I was going to do. You know, like other people do. All those other people at the gym that never canceled, just like them. I could count on myself.
Think about that for a minute.
Every time we follow through on even a small commitment we’ve made to ourselves, we’re building confidence in our ability to do what we say. And that matters.
Because if we struggle to follow through on the little things that are important to us, how are we going to find the confidence to do the bigger, more difficult things we want to accomplish?
Especially as we move into this busy season of the year.
There’s a Difference Between Discipline and Discernment
Now, I want to be clear about something. I’m not suggesting that we should never change our plans. Life happens.
We’re caring for someone. There are health emergencies, work situations that genuinely need our attention, grandchildren, and all kinds of things that come with managing our lives.
Sometimes we simply cannot do everything we’ve scheduled. And that’s where discernment comes in.
We’re constantly making decisions about what needs to happen, when it needs to happen, and what our priorities are.
That’s part of managing life. But discipline is something different. Discipline is following through on the things we’ve decided we’re going to do.
Both require our energy, our attention, and our ability to make decisions. What I’m talking about is something I’ve caught myself doing over and over. Something becomes inconvenient.
I’m tired. I don’t feel like going. There’s something else I could be doing.
And suddenly, the appointment I’ve made with myself is the easiest thing to move.
I wouldn’t necessarily move someone else’s appointment. I wouldn’t move the cat’s vet appointment just because I didn’t feel like going.
But my workout?
Well, that can wait.
And that’s the pattern I want to recognize.
Are we changing our plans because something truly needs our attention, or because we’ve gotten into the habit of making ourselves negotiable?
I think that’s an important question.
Sometimes the Energy Comes After We Show Up
Very often, we wait until we feel motivated or energetic before we do something.
And when we don’t feel that motivation, it’s easy to decide we’ll do it another day. I know I’ve done that.
Sometimes there’s just a general resistance to doing one more thing. We’ve already had a busy day. We’re tired. We have things on our minds.
And the thought of getting dressed and going to a workout, or getting ready to go somewhere, just doesn’t sound appealing. But most of the time, when I actually go, I feel better afterward.
When I work out consistently, I have more energy.
When I go to church, I come home feeling happy, peaceful, and energized in a way that I don’t get from staying home and getting a few more things done.And every single time, I’m grateful I went.
I gained something from showing up that I wouldn’t have experienced if I’d stayed home.
Of course, there are times when we genuinely need rest. I believe that, too.
But I’ve learned that there’s a difference between needing rest and simply resisting something because it requires a little effort.
And sometimes, the very thing we’re tempted to cancel is the thing that would help us feel better.
How Do We Start Keeping the Promises We Make to Ourselves?
I love October. The weather starts getting cooler, there’s excitement in the air, and I always feel like it’s a chance to reset. But October also marks the start of a very busy season for me.
Family time, holidays, more commitments, more coordinating, more managing.
Maybe you understand where I’m coming from.
This is usually the time of year when I start moving things around on my calendar to make space for everything that’s coming.
And if I’m not paying attention, the first things I move are the things I’ve scheduled for myself.
I know this about me. I’ve done it before. But this year, I want October to be different.
And if any of this sounds familiar, I’d love for it to be different for you, too.
Think about what would happen if we entered the busiest season of the year with the intention of keeping a few meaningful promises to ourselves.
What if, instead of automatically rescheduling our own appointments when things got busy, we stopped and asked whether they really needed to be moved?
What if we treated what matters to us with the same importance we give to what matters to everyone else? How different would we feel at the end of the month?
Think about the confidence we’d have from knowing we showed up for ourselves. And think about how that confidence could help us move through the next couple of months.
Every time we do something we said we’d do, we teach ourselves something.
We’re teaching ourselves that we can do hard things.
And the more often we do that, the more capable we begin to feel. That confidence doesn’t have to come from accomplishing something enormous. Sometimes it comes from showing up on a morning when we really didn’t feel like going.
Let’s Show Up for Ourselves
In CLEAR, my new book, I talk about creating space for what matters and for who we’re becoming. And that applies to our calendars.
We can make space for something, put it on the calendar, and have every intention of doing it. But then we have to actually show up. That’s where the change happens.
I’m right here with you, working on the same thing.
My intention this October is to show up for myself and let that consistency become a stronger foundation for the months ahead.
So, here’s my challenge for you. Look at your calendar this week. What’s one thing you’ve scheduled for yourself that you’ve already started thinking about moving?
Maybe it’s exercise, an appointment, time to work on something important to you, or something you simply enjoy doing. Before you move it, ask yourself why.
If there’s a genuine reason, that’s one thing.
But if it’s simply because something else feels more convenient or more important in the moment, think about keeping that appointment.
Go. Show up. Afterward, take a moment to recognize that you did what you said you would.
Notice how that feels.
Because those small moments of following through add up.
And wouldn’t it be wonderful to reach the end of October feeling confident that we’ve shown up for ourselves, even as life gets busier?
What’s one commitment you’ve made to yourself that you’re going to keep this week?
I’d love to hear about it.
Talk to you next Monday, Meryl
